Jo Hirst is a former Primary School teacher who wrote Australia’s first picture book for transgender children, The Gender Fairy.
Jo is passionate about writing books that challenge some of the stereotypes in our society and allow all children to see themselves represented in literature.
Since then, Jo has gone on to write her second book, A House For Everyone, which teaches kids about gender identity and expression.
Jo was kind enough to sit down with The Water Cooler and tell us all about it.
“Thank you for taking the time to listen today and thank you so much for inviting me to be a part of your global inclusion week. I appreciate the opportunity to spread a little more understanding around the world about our trans, gender diverse and gender creative children.”
If you are interested in further information about this topic, go to www.johirst.com.
If you are an Australian parent or primary care giver of one of these gorgeous children and find yourself in need of information and support, you can contact www.pgdc.org.au.
Tell us about A House For Everyone and what motivated you to write it.
I wanted to write a book that would help children with different gender identities and expressions see themselves represented on the page. Also, it seemed important to me that there was a book that let children know that it’s joyful and safe to be themselves.
A House For Everyone is a strength based book to reflect the positive experiences many of our very young people now have being themselves.
So many young people are breaking away from harmful stereotypes and being accepted by their peers in a positive way and I think this book models that.
And if they are not having a positive experience then it models to them and their peers what a comfortable, normal and joyful experience being yourself can look like.
You consulted with Associate Professor Michelle Telfer (Head of the Gender Service at the Royal Children’s Hospital in Melbourne) when you wrote your first book, The Gender Fairy. What was that experience like and what have you learnt in that time?
My life changed completely after writing that book.
I wrote The Gender Fairy for my own child because I realised there was nothing around for any other children.
I spoke to Associate Professor Michelle Telfer and asked her if she would like me to adapt it for the children at the Gender Service at the Royal Children’s Hospital.
Michelle loved it and asked if I would consider publishing the book. I agreed and decided to self-publish.
I didn’t even approach any publishers, as in 2015, I imagined they would not be interested.
Transgender children were not part of the public conversation back then.
Because I’m cis (a non-transgender person) I consulted with members of the transgender community when I wrote the book. I also asked Roz Ward from Safe Schools to co-write the notes at the back of the book for teachers, as there were no resources for children making a transition in schools.
It’s worth noting that around Australia there are still no curriculum resources for our kids, six years later.
The book was very successful within the community and with schools, parents and health workers who were crying out for a resource.
Through advocacy work I’ve met some of the most amazing, inspiring people around the world.
What is a common misconception people have about gender diversity and expression in children?
I’m really pleased you asked this question.
One of the things I hope A House For Everyone will do is reinforce the difference between gender identity and gender expression.
Gender identity is who you are inside. For example, male/female/non binary or something else. Gender expression is how you express yourself on the outside. For example, the clothes you wear, your mannerisms. Or for children, the toys you play with.
There is still some confusion about young children who do not conform to gender stereotypes.
A young boy, like Jackson, in A House For Everyone, who wears dresses and plays with girls is not transgender. If he says he’s a boy, he’s a boy. He’s not necessarily “going to be gay” either. A four year old child isn’t thinking about sexuality. All they are doing are playing with the toys they like and playing the games they enjoy.
Girls like Ivy in A House For Everyone, who have very short hair, don’t like dresses and play stereotypically “boys” games, are still girls.
The character Ivy was based on my own mother who has a very masculine gender expression and was a builder in the 1970’s.
I think she was the only Victorian woman in the 70’s to run her own “Handywoman” business. She was the only daughter in the family and expected to be in the house helping her mother. Instead she would escape any time she could to follow her father around and taught herself the jobs only her brothers were allowed to do, like building and fixing the car.
Gender stereotypes pressure children (and adults) to believe that their gender expression must match their gender identity.
Commercial marketing and conscious and unconscious bias from family and society mean that by the time children are in early education they have a fair idea of what the “rules” are surrounding gender.
Even if the family has done an amazing job of ensuring a child has a range of toys to play with and clothes to wear.
Many parents these days are really working hard at eradicating gender stereotypes from their young children’s lives. This is because we now know that this not only helps a child’s self-esteem and mental health, but reduces gendered violence later in life.
There is still a long way to go.
Parents of young girls are usually very comfortable with girls wearing pants. Not as many are comfortable giving her a buzz cut if that’s what she wants.
School uniforms in Australia still align themselves with old traditions of dresses and skirts for girls. Many parents and schools love the look of the girls in these uniforms. But it’s not the job of our girls to “look nice”. They are at school to learn and uniforms should make our young people feel safe and comfortable. If you are interested in getting behind this idea there is a group called “The Girl’s Uniform Agenda” who campaign for schools to give girls the option of wearing pants. Check them out.
Many parents of boys are making a lot of progress.
It’s wonderful to see so many families not judging their young boys for their choices of toys, like dolls and prams.
Again though there is a long way to go.
While parents are tolerant of boys wearing dress ups at home, there seems to be more fear and resistance when a boy feels the needs to wear a dress to school or kinder.
It’s not only parents.
Some schools are very supportive of all diverse children and make clear all their uniform options are available to all students and some don’t. Some schools will not allow boys to grow their hair long and have strict policies about the length of boys hair.
Non binary children might be assigned male or female at birth and have stereotypical male or female gender presentation or a bit of both.
The message is that there is no right way to be.
Gender identity and gender expression are completely separate things for children and adults.
What advice do you give to parents whose children are trying to navigate their gender identity?
The most important advice would be to listen to your child and let them know that they have your support and love no matter what.
Family support is key to a gender diverse child having the best mental health outcomes and thriving.
Talk to your early childhood educator or school about what they can do to support your child.
If you are feeling out of your depth find a psychologist to help you navigate the path and contact a peer support group like Parents of Gender Diverse Children.
Remember that every child is unique and has a different journey.
If your child is young, my advice for all children is to let them play with the toys they enjoy, let them choose their own clothes and have a say in how they want their hair cut.
Respect that they are a separate person to you with their own identity.
Read them books that celebrate gender identity and gender expression.
Your own child may not be gender diverse but they will encounter peers who are.
As a former primary school teacher yourself, what changes would you like to see in the classrooms to help promote and support gender diversity?
While there are many trans and gender diverse children in Australia, there are currently no curriculum resources or mention of their existence any primary school or early education curriculum around the country.
We cannot continue to pretend that trans, gender diverse and gender creative children do not exist.
What happens at the moment is that when child wishes to make a social transition schools are left scrambling for a way to explain this to the child’s peers.
What I would like to see is a whole school approach, where all children are taught that being trans or gender diverse is a normal part of human diversity.
Every year, most schools teach diversity, inclusion and identity.
Sadly, at the moment trans and gender diverse children are left out of the conversation and this is causing bullying and a sense shame for our children.
A whole school approach would mean that when a child at the school inevitably makes a social transition, that child would not have to bear all the responsibility for the education of their peers and be the focus of so much unhelpful attention.
Schools would have a proactive approach instead of a much inferior reactive approach.
