It’s the interview you’ve been waiting all year for.
In a Water Cooler exclusive, Rudolph the red nosed reindeer reveals exactly why his nose shines so bright and how he guides Santa’s sleigh at night.
Rudolph, firstly thank you for giving us your time at such a crucial point in the lead up to Christmas. How are the preparations going?
Every elf, reindeer and snowman in the North Pole has really gone all out this year. We are so ahead of schedule I even saw Santa take a nap today. A NAP! In December! Outrageous.
We’ve had a challenging few years with closed borders and quarantine issues but now we are on track for our best year yet!
What sort of training do you and the other reindeers do to fly Santa and all those presents all over the world?
People think we just graze in a paddock all year, eating carrots and looking cute. But that’s not the case. We’re on a strict training program with three weights sessions and three cardio sessions a week.
Sunday is our rest day but me, Prancer and Vixen normally throw in a few laps at the local pool for active recovery.
Many kids leave out milk and cookies for Santa and carrots for the reindeer on Christmas Eve. Do you want us to get the word out to mix it up?
Well firstly, Santa is lactose intolerant. Not a lot of people know that. So, if you’re going to leave milk out for him, stick to oat or almond.
As for the reindeer, carrots are always well received but you may remember Dr. Chris Brown did a thorough investigation on The Living Room last year and found that Glitter Oats are the preferred snack among us reindeer. Two part oats to one part glitter (throw some grated apple in there and I’ll personally see to it that you get a bonus gift).
What do you for the rest of the year once Christmas is over?
Well, the first thing I do is call the Easter Bunny and say sucked in!
We’ve got elves and reindeer that all play their part in creating a magical Christmas. But the Easter Bunny? It’s just him. No sled, no nothing!
Have you ever tried to lift a sack of Easter Eggs? No thanks, not for me.
The rest of the year I help keep an eye on the kids and work out who is on the naughty and nice lists.
I usually have a few paid appearances for Christmas in July. I’ll pop into Jimmy Fallon, do a couple podcasts, that sort of thing.
Finally, what do you love most about Christmas?
Christmas is a crazy time of year. People get swept up in the madness, the gifts, the decorations, matching pyjamas, I’ve even seen people dress their cars as me!
But really, at the end of the day, my favourite part about Christmas is friends and family coming together and looking out for each other. Even that grumpy old Grinch enjoys himself eventually!
Oh, and National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. That’s how I finish off Christmas night every year!
